Raising a Polite Toddler

I know this title may seem crazy, but it's the truth. My husband and I are working so hard to make this a reality, and we're starting to see some progress. I wanted to share with you what we've learned (from friends and family's help) and what's worked for Jax.

Using please and thank you

We started using please and thank you with Jax at a very early age. Meaning, I would always make sure to say it to him as well. I would ask him for a ball to play with and say please as well as thank you when he gave it to me. Now that he's two, we always encourage him to ask for things nicely and to say thank you. When he forgets, I always remind him. So far this is starting to pay off. He has started using please and thank you without being prompted and it's the cutest!

Empathy

This is something that I think is one of the hardest emotions to teach. My responsibility is to always show him empathy when he gets upset. I always ask are you ok and why are you upset? Or I'm sorry you are upset that must be frustrating. I never knew if he was understand empathy until recently and I was so happily surprised. Our babysitter was having a hard day and was just telling me about it. Jax walks up to her and puts his hand on her shoulder and asks " Are you ok?" It was the sweetest thing! She just told him she was and she was just a little sad and then he gave her a hug. It just goes to show that young children understand more than we'll ever know. And I totally turned to mush when I saw him do this! Such a proud Mommy moment for sure!

Explain the why

I noticed when my son is upset or not using his words, If I do the same whining back to him he usually stops and laughs. I then say see Jax you can't understand what I'm saying and I sound silly. I can't understand you when you don't use your words. Also, there's this song from Daniel Tiger that's working when I want to give him direction to keep him safe. When I sing it, he stops and then I tell him what he needs to stop doing and why he should to keep him safe. Crazy as it seems, it's working. For the most part, he's still two!

 Give Two Choices

My son loves having a voice, meaning he loves to be a part of the decision making. Since he doesn't really have a say on a lot of things that happens to him, we like to give him some choices. Like things that really don't matter much to us but matter a lot to him. We recommend two choices because if there are too many, your toddler may feel overwhelmed. We let him decide what he would like for a snack, applesauce or yogurt? We show him two PJ sets and let him pick which one he would like to wear. When it's TV time, he can pick the cartoon he would like to watch. When it's time to go to bed, he gets to pick the bedtime stories. Having a choice really means the world to him. He gets excited to be a bigger part of what happens to him.

Having a routine

The best advice we have ever been given was to read the book series "baby wise". I totally recommend these books. They help you get your baby and then your toddler on a healthy sleep schedule. The benefits are amazing. More free time for you and a happier baby and toddler!  They need sleep to develop into a happy, healthy and polite child. Think about how grouchy and crabby you feel when you have a bad night. Imagine how your toddler feels when they really need 12 to 14 hours of rest a day and they only get 8. The only way to make sure they get this much needed rest, is by having a healthy bedtime routine and sleep schedule. My son pretty much eats and sleeps at the same time everyday. Since we have a schedule, he knows exactly what's going to happen, and as a result, he has less tantrums. Like everyone, Jackson still has bad nights and days where he fights a bit and doesn't want to go down, but if we stick to routine, he usually evens out in about a week.

He is not always happy, but always cute!

The habits we establish now for him will follow him into adulthood. It really gives us such joy to watch our 2 year old help someone and make their day with his kind words. What I have learned so far is it's our responsibility to teach him all the things he needs to become the man he is meant to be.